just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
