come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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