ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
