have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
