I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
