another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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