He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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