Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
