whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
