Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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