I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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