I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
