Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
