i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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