Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
