You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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