I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
