Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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