Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
