Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You are a genius and a whore.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize