What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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