Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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