the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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