Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
