i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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