The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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