Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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