I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
