Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize