Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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