We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
