I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
