Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.