You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.