D3 body, D1 cock
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.