Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  whjeg hajt iyt

  (914): View more from New York

  say what?

  (845): View more from New York

  wanna hang out?

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  (845): whjeg hajt iyt (914): say what? (845): wanna hang out? http://tfl.nu/4g99
  Replies (8) Good night (1260) Bad night (417)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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  (757): If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans? (269): Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass. http://tfl.nu/u35z
  Replies (13) Good night (2271) Bad night (562)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

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  (210): I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV" http://tfl.nu/w3he
  Replies (37) Good night (5268) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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  (270): I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her http://tfl.nu/ank1
  Replies (53) Good night (1252) Bad night (5682) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.

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  (626): He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is. http://tfl.nu/ui1w
  Replies (62) Good night (1131) Bad night (7475) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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  (818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf
  Replies (16) Good night (1194) Bad night (5122)
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  (310): View more from California

  can your parents tell?

  (310): View more from California

  i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

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  (310): can your parents tell? (310): i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know http://tfl.nu/rda5
  Replies (26) Good night (9419) Bad night (1332)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spit up blood this morning

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's vegas.

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  (919): I spit up blood this morning (206): That's vegas. http://tfl.nu/44z7
  Replies (8) Good night (3685) Bad night (1385)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (2727) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

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  (647): I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask http://tfl.nu/g6ag
  Replies (10) Good night (1399) Bad night (2755) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.

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  (757): you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof. http://tfl.nu/pdha
  Replies (11) Good night (2495) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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  (218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (571)
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  (+33): View more from France

  We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?

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  (+33): We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be? http://tfl.nu/rs8r
  Replies (15) Good night (2066) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm

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  (813): He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm http://tfl.nu/b6iz
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt

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