Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am naked and annoyed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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