dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
