Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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