My room smells like vodka and shame
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He? As in you personified your dick?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
