I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize