I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize