okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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