thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
