I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
