scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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