too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
