That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
