I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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