That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
