Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize