in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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