You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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