I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
