i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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