i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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