Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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