I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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