You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
