Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
