last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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