I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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