Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
