I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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